We continue our series of videos taken from our interview with Lon Woodbury. Here Lon talks about how effective aftercare can be, and why treatment programs should incorporate it into their services:
We encourage you to check back here throughout the week to see more of Lon Woodbury’s interview. The posting schedule will go as follows:
It’s critical to the continued success of our students that residential centers engage in aftercare. The best aftercare programs utilize the relationships that students and parents formed with staff and therapists while in the program. Good aftercare costs money, takes time, and requires a large investment of emotion and energy. There are lots of reasons for why programs don’t have aftercare services, but no good excuses. These three parables express my condemnation of three of the most common excuses I’ve heard over the years.
A Parable of Hypocrisy
Once upon a time, there was a woman who lived in a beautiful home nestled in a valley protected by great granite cliffs. The woman was well-off, so she decided to take in a foster child with whom to share her wealth and love.
The day the foster child arrived was difficult. The child was dirty and uncouth. The child was verbally abusive and had done things and been the victim of things that horrified the woman. The woman wondered how she could ever love the child.
The woman set to work and soon the woman began to understand the child and the child’s needs. The woman gradually found it easy to love the child. In time, the child learned to trust the woman. There were instances when the woman became frustrated with the child, of course, and the child broke the woman’s heart occasionally, but the child’s progress was steady. The woman treasured the moment one night after a long walk, when the child said, “I love you.”
One day, it was time for the child to go home to her parents. The woman was tearful. She knew that it was unlikely that she would ever see the child again, as the child’s parents lived beyond the great granite cliffs. The child was sad, too, and made the woman promise over and over again to write. The woman promised.
Months passed, and the woman didn’t write to the child, although the child wrote the woman. The child’s father wrote, begging the woman to keep her promise to write to the child. The woman did nothing. More time passed and then the child’s mother wrote the woman, begging her to keep her promise to write to the child. The woman did nothing. Finally, the child wrote one last letter to the woman and asked, “Why have you abandoned me? Why have you not kept your promise?” Still, the woman did nothing.
The woman became lonely in her beautiful home nestled in the valley protected by great granite cliffs. The woman was well-off, so she decided to take in a foster child with whom to share her wealth and love.
The day the foster child arrived was difficult. The child was dirty and uncouth. The child was verbally abusive and had done things that horrified the woman. The woman wondered how she could ever love the child.
The woman set to work and soon the woman began to understand the child and the child’s needs. The woman gradually found it easy to love the child. In time, the child learned to trust the woman. There were instances when the woman became frustrated with the child, of course, and the child broke the woman’s heart occasionally, but the child’s progress was sure. The woman treasured the moment one night, after a long walk, when the child said, “I love you.”
One day, it was time for the child to go home to her parents. The woman was sad. She knew that it was unlikely that she would ever see the child again, as the child’s parents lived beyond the great granite cliffs. The child was sad, too, and made the woman promise over and over again to write. The woman promised.
Months passed, and the woman didn’t write to the child, although the child wrote the woman. . . .
A Parable of Negligence
Once upon a time there was a lifeguard who saved a girl from drowning in the ocean. He took time to make sure that the girl was comfortable and safe, but the girl was afraid to go back into the water. So, the lifeguard offered to teach the girl advanced swimming skills. The girl came to the beach every day to learn from the lifeguard but refused to go into the water. The lifeguard taught the girl how to duck under large waves, how to read the direction of the currents, and how to navigate when the whitecaps blew salty spray into her eyes, all from the safety of the beach
The girl loved the lifeguard, and the lifeguard loved the girl. Finally, with the lifeguard’s promise to keep an eye on her, the girl gathered her courage and entered the vast ocean once again.
For a while the girl navigated the water well. The lifeguard relaxed his vigilance and became distracted. He did not notice the girl struggling with a strong ocean slipstream. The girl called out to the lifeguard, but his focus was elsewhere and he did not hear. The girl drowned in the waves.
A Parable of Ignorance
Once upon a time there was a damsel who was constantly in distress, because she refused to ask for help. One day a knight saw her predicament and saved her without her asking. The knight told the damsel she ought to ask for help in the future. The damsel said nothing, though she was secretly grateful. The knight gave her some unsolicited advice about how to ask for help, warned her to stay away from dragons and then went on his way.
Sometime later, the knight stumbled upon the damsel in the clutches of a dragon. The dragon’s fires were hot and its teeth were long and sharp. The damsel did not ask for help.
The knight was conflicted about what he should do. Should he honor the damsel’s agency and wait until she asked for his help? After all, he had taught her how to ask for help. What if the damsel was unable to ask for help? No, that couldn’t be the case – he had taught her that she was powerful. What if the damsel had purposefully placed herself in danger – hadn’t he taught her to avoid dragons? What was she doing hanging out with dragons anyway? Then again, what if he hadn’t taught her well enough?
Just as he thought he might reach out to the damsel, she perished in the dragon’s fiery jaws.
